Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Sometimes Life Gets Worse Before It Can Get Better. Would You Do It Anyway? I Did.

I hesitate to share with others about the unhappy times in my life.  But today I knew I needed to.  Lately I have felt a need to share some of things I have been learning.  But I wasn't ready to be so open and vulnerable.  I guess I am at the point of not caring.  Maybe it's a sign I have become stronger.  I am ready to be real and in the process maybe find a real connection to others.  It's part of my process to becoming whole.

I have been going through a quite a transition in my life ever since I left my corporate job almost 5 years ago now.  It's hard to believe that so much time has passed since that blissful day.  Unfortunately, things have not turned out as blissful as I had envisioned.   Down deep I knew that there were turbulent waters ahead.  But I ignored the warning.  I had to.  A part of me was screaming to expand at whatever the cost.  Besides, it was too late; the giant wheel of fate was already in motion.   Nonetheless, I do not regret it.  I still believe it was the right step at the right time. 

I know that when you ask for something new and better out of life, sometimes things get worse before they get better.  Demolition of the old self, beliefs, and habits as I see it.  I liken it to being re-birthed.  From the comfort of my old job and habits, it seemed like a desirable thing to go through if it would bring about the changes that were necessary for the new life that I craved.  But the reality of it is quiet different.  I was not prepared for the pain, the misery, the overwhelming fear, the darkness and confusion. There seemed to be no answers, no way out and no one that could help.  I was forced to go within deeper than I have ever gone, becoming more open and more allowing.  And God gently began to reveal the blocks and beliefs that were keeping me small.  The light began to come back, very slowly, but consistently.  I thought I had a  close relationship with God before, but I know now it was just the tip of the iceberg.  And of course, I am still at the tip, I have just moved a little deeper.  The light is getting more frequent and stronger now.  The clouds are still there and I still get consumed by the darkness and confusion. There is still so many unanswered questions.  And there is a lot of mess to clean up from the demolition.   But the fear has weakened considerably and my faith has deepened.   The answers will come and my new life will become the norm.  Someday I am sure I will look back and be amazed at the whole process.  I already am.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Do you ever feel like you are trying to navigate life in total darkness? I feel I am in the midst of a black sea, darkness all around me. Then lighted stones appear before me giving me the next step, then the next step. The scariest time is after I take the next step, the stones behind me disappear
and the next step has yet to materialize. Will the next step ever appear? How long? And what will happen to me until it does? I wait in faith, strengthen by prayer, meditating, journaling, assured by God that all is well and I am on the right path. Waiting in faith today.



Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Essense, The Nittus Grittus


If you are unhappy, be unhappy.
Do not judge yourself for being that way.
It is wonderful to be unhappy, it is God expressing emotion.
Love your unhappiness. It means you are ready for change.
You are ready to go forward, yet you mourn for the old;
you are not ready to let go.
Allow the unhappiness, there is purposefulness in it.

Remove from your life everything that inhibits you
from being the totality of yourself. That is called "becoming".
Remove from your thoughts all the have to's, should's, must's.
Remove the images you think you must be and just be.


Embrace your life. Know that you created it.
Love all that you have been, said and done.
Know it was all purposeful.


Never see anything as a failure.
See everything as an accomplishment.
Love the hurt, the pain, the sorrow.
For what an experience! What a wonderment!
What jewels of wisdom are now in your treasure!


Be your own teacher, friend, counsel.
Confide in yourself, speak to yourself.


Seek answers that feel right within your soul.
Your soul knows what the truth is,
and it will tell you through feelings.
Always listen to your feelings. They know ... they know.


Live, experience, feel. Do not seek to identify yourself.
You will never have a point of understanding from which you
can say, "This is who I am!", for in each expanding moment
of consciousness, of being God, who you are will have
changed into the next moment of being.
To know who you are is to feel what you feel each moment.


Never do anything, no matter how far you are into it,
if you lose the joy of it and it becomes monotonous and mundane.
Do away with it and do something else that brings happiness.
For perhaps what you needed to learn from it
you have already achieved.
Go wherever you want to go,
Do whatever you want to do,
for as long as you want to.


Create only for the mere joy of creating.
When you create for you, you will soon find youself living in joy.


Don't ever strive to have anyone understand you.
If they wish to understand, they will.


Love everyone. Have compassion for all other entities.
You do not need to go and take care of them.
Love them by allowing them to express however they choose.
That is the greatest thing you can do!
If they are angered or disappointed by their life, love them
by allowing them to be that way.
Then you have become a great god, a great light!


Author Unknown

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Are We Ever Too Old to Start Enjoying Our Work?

I saw a blog last night and I could tell feel this great energy coming from the writing the minute I read her first post. She is full of enthusiasm, engaging, and, my guess, an optimistic extrovert that will live to be past 100! I was surprised and delighted when I saw the author's age was 78! Cara Lumen is a great inspiration to all of us thinking of leaving our jobs and starting over after the age of 50.  I invite you to check out Cara's blog, http://caralumen.com/wordpress/ and see for yourself.
I don't think it was an accident that I found Cara last night and let me tell you why.  I have been hard at work now for almost a year since leaving my corporate job trying to find a focused way to channel my passions and talents.  It has taken some work and patience for the mud to start settling for me.  And I won't lie and say every day has been easy and fun, but I can say it is a labor of love and I am committed.  As a result, I am starting to make a little headway.  I am beginning to see how fun this can be.  I am realizing the deep satisfaction of supporting myself on my own terms by my own rules, in my own way.  Finally, I am getting glimpses of what people mean when they say there is no lines of distinction between their work and their life.  So I was telling my husband last night how sad I am to just now be finding this out at my age. Why couldn't I have found this at age 27! We decided that I might still be doing work I love for at least another 10 to 12 years. But then I found Cara.  It was one of those divine synchronicity moments that was meant to show me another perspective. Cara inspired me!  Who says we have to quite working at 62, 72 or even 92?  Wow, suddenly years of creativity was added to my life!
Now I don't want to preach, but, people, wake up!  Start now, wherever you are, to start training yourself to do work that you would love to do for the rest of your life.  Don't just settle in go to work in some dead end boring job until your old enough to retire, but too tired and depressed to care.  Find a way to make money that makes your heart sing now!   We are all born with gifts and talents that we can use to serve in a way that feels like play! I  Our biggest responsibility is to ourselves, our children, even to society to do what we came here to do.  You will be guided.  You will be supported.  Can you imagine what a wonderful world this would be if we all loved our work like Cara does? It would change the world.  That is my mission.  Examine your life and find one small way to start the shift today.  It's worth it!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Just Imagine That!

You know the old saying, you give out what you most need.  One of the things I have been inspired to do to support myself and others on this path is to create a talk show that features authors of personal and spiritual growth books.  After years of reading these books I wanted to find a way to align myself with these great teachers and support them in reaching others with their work.  Just Imagine That! Internet Talk Show was born when I met Scottie Johnson, a retired attorney from Portland Oregon, that was just as passionate about hosting this type of show as I was to produce it.  It has been a dream come true for me to have contact with authors all over the world and be instrumental in highlighting their message above and beyond the writings of their books.  Scottie does a great job in hosting the show and as a result I have some great interviews to share with you.  Along with the podcasts, I want to share with you the gifts each interview reveals to me. I hope you feel inspired to share your thoughts as well.  

Monday, May 24, 2010

Courageous Journey

There are many of us looking for a more satisfying life that sustains us with a solid core of purpose and passion emanating from our hearts and overflowing as our unique way to serve others.  It is a deeply personal journey that challenges you to go against the majority of society's values and views courageously determined dispite overwhelming evidence that you are crazy.  No matter how hard and scary at times,  I strongly feel this is the work we are all called to do if we are going to live conscious authentic lives.

A lot of you are aware that I recently left a job in corporate American to pursue a career of higher calling.  As I  traveled this path the last 9 months, I have learned so much that I would like to share with you.  Most of all I have learned that  supporting other seekers is my greatest passion.  Even though this is a solitary journey, it is not intended to be traveled alone.  As we stumble in darkness there are many teachers and mentors that walk before us shining the light and pointing the way.  I want this blog to be a source of light to support and inspire you.  Here I will share the many helpful tools I have found and continue to find as I seek to live my best life. And as you come here I hope you will be renewed and encouraged to stay the course and realize your highest and most deeply satisfying life.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Happiness Really Is An Inside Job

Well, I did it. I quite my job last week. I quite the best job a person could have in the face of a down economy and with no plan of action in place. Smart or stupid? Only time will tell. But the heart does not lie and my heart said "Let's live!". So here I sit on the pinnacle of a new life. What lies before me now? Where do I start? The answer is simple...it all starts with me.
As simple as it sounds, there is no doubt that it's just plain difficult to do. It requires a lot of work. The hardest work you or I will ever do. But it is the work we are called to do if we are going to realize our full potential in this life. Having a self-actualized life does not just happen. It requires that we become that which we want to want to experience. We become the love we want to receive. We become the respectful, compassionate, and forgiving person that calls forth the same in others. And from that place of personal integrity and authenticity inspiration blooms. And each bloom begins to unfold and manifest into the life we are meant to live. Our heart's life.
So this is where I begin. I want to share my journey in faith that I will somehow help you along your journey and you, of course, will help me. I am excited and full of hope and anticipation. No journey is more important. And in my life, it is a journey that cannot be denied. Please join me and let's walk this path together and bask in the sun along the way.